What strategies can parents with ADHD use to resolve conflicts with children with ADHD?

What strategies can parents with ADHD use to resolve conflicts with children with ADHD?

You may find the following strategies helpful for managing ADHD in the home:

Behavior:

• Give clear and specific directions and limits: Children with ADHD need to know exactly what others expect from them.
• “Catch” your child being good: Punishing a child only teaches them what not to do. Recognizing and acknowledging positive behaviors is an effective way to teach your child what to do. This increases the expression of appropriate behavior.
• Set up an effective behavior system: Create a consistent system to reward appropriate behavior and respond to misbehavior with alternatives such as a "time out" or loss of privileges. Corporal punishment (spanking) is not effective. A common practice is to use "marbles-in-a-jar" wherein the child earns one marble for a specified appropriate behavior in the household. When a certain number of marbles are earned, they can be exchanged for a privilege.

Organization:

• Stick to a schedule: Follow the same routine every day, from wake-up time to bedtime. The schedule should include time for homework and play.
• Use a calendar or planner the child can see: Create a place to write down important reminders, responsibilities and events. These tools may be especially helpful for adolescents and young adults who struggle with time management.
• Organize items that are needed every day: Have a place for everything and keep everything in its place. This includes clothing, backpacks and school supplies. An organization checklist may be helpful.

Homework time:

• Pick out a homework area: Set up a home workstation for school work in a quiet area without clutter or distractions.
• Use less verbal prompting: Give clear and brief instructions. Find ways to silently redirect a child to tasks, such as a gesture, a special sign, or brief “instruction lists” taped to a mirror the child uses.
• Set a timer: Have a timeframe for working on homework. If the child does not finish, take a break and set a new time to finish.
• Allow breaks: Allow time to rest and recharge, especially if a child has long assignments or homework from many classes.
• Praise effort and completion: Reward the child’s completed work instead of punishing incomplete work. Refrain from telling your child how smart he or she is. When children think they are "smart," the next time they confront work that is difficult for them, they quit because they don’t want to present themselves as incapable of completing the work (i.e., not being smart).